someone threw a dead crab at me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ttyl tear gas
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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