sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We are two peas in an std pod
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
