why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
