The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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