I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
