absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to stick my p in your. b.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
