Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
