Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
They are going to name an STD after you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
