he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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