if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
