shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
