My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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