hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
