): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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