Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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