It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize