Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
