i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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