dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize