Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
