Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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