She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
