you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
