I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize