But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
