so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
