I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize