she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
