Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
