oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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