she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize