This girl is more easily done than said...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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