his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she smelled like a LAN party
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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