she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
