My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
