I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
