I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
