stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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