ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
