Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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