found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
