Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
