Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
