good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
