Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
