I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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