Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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