the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
