I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
