My first STD was from a foam party
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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