Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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