Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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