I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
