I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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