It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
