Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
