The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
