They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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