Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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