it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
