So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
