i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
