Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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