do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
