Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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