Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
